Tuesday, August 21, 2012

Quarter Life Crisis

For approximately the last six months I have been thinking about the ways in which I would have my quarter-life crisis; I have considered what I might wear for this impending event - how I might style my hair; whether or not to wear jewelry (clearly pearls are the only option if I decide that, yes, jewels are necessary); if mascara might be a good or bad idea for this particular occasion.
In the last week I started to warn the people I love; it went something like this. "As you may know, my birthday is looming; I have a quarter-life crisis scheduled for 9 AM on my birth morning . . . chances are you may hear me from wherever you are. You have been warned." For those of you who may know me well, you realize I am only half joking about this; for those of you who know me well, you realize that I sometimes worry a little. And by sometimes, I mean always, and by a little, I mean a lot; large, hovering, scary, gargantuan amounts of lot.

So here I am, sitting before this screen, typing to you and being a whole hour into my 25th year. Could you hear me from wherever you were today? Any sobbing, screaming, panicking mumblings over your current jam on the radio? No? I know, I'm ridiculously shocked by this revelation as well.
Here I am, a whole hour into my 25th year and, for the most part, I am smitten. Don't ask me who "he" is, because there isn't a he; I am smitten with my life.

In June I graduated from Wright State University and let out one hurricane powered sigh of relief at finally being done with my undergraduate degree. Once that sigh of relief was released I did a rather impressive squat and re-situated the weight of the world upon my shoulders in order to find a job, and a good one, and get insurance, really good insurance, and move out, immediately. Of course, none of this happened in my time frame (*sigh*) and I dove even further into panic and self doubt; it was a beautiful time, folks.
With the 25th birthday looming and no job, insurance, or humble abode of my own in sight, I was flirty pretty handedly with being a hot mess. Then, depending on what your beliefs may be, my prayers were answered, a light was found at the end of one dark tunnel, and I found a freaking pot of gold at the end of that prismatic rainbow.

Into my first hour of my 25th year I am not only a Wright State University graduate; I am not just a waitress at Holly's Cafe & Carryout; I am not simply a 25 year old girl; I am all of those things PLUS a mentor service coordinator for East End Community Services through AmeriCorps and I start on September 4th. Also? I am FREAKING ECSTATIC!

Looking back now on all the times I was panicking over turning 25 and not having a "big girl" job, not having a steady boyfriend, not having the funds to live on my own I realize how trivial I was truly being. There is a plan for me and, although I don't always like it, it's not always (read never) on my time; only His.

So I sit here before you - 25, future employee of AmeriCorps, current employee of Holly's Cafe & Carryout, single, and feeling more loved and blessed than I've ever felt in my life.

That quarter life crisis? I made it my bitch - and I'm smiling about it.

-Stephi D.

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